But wait, we're not together really!
by Kiwi the Lemon
Summary: Ishida and Kirigiri are both getting irritated by flirty people bugging them, so Ishida jumps in pretending to be Kirigiri's boyfriend. He think's he's safe after that, but it turns out they work in the same building! He may have to keep up the act at little longer... Or will the act turn into something real?


Ishida picked up his bag and swung it over his shoulder, standing up and heading for the door. It was the end of his work day, and the albino boy was ready to go home.

He worked at a detective agency… But wasn't exactly a model employee, more a bad example actually. Even the people who hired him weren't even sure why they did so.

Well, he was amazing when it came to identifying murder methods, but this was brought down by his general recklessness. Ishida once drank a bottle of mysterious liquid at a crime scene… Luckily it was only really cold lemon tea, but that was disgusting enough in itself.

The red eyed boy sighed a he stepped out of the door and felt the cold winter air brush against his skin. It was like stepping into a freezer… Not that things like temperature really affected Ishida all that much. He could see his breath in the air, and took advantage of is by puffing all of the air out of his cheeks and exclaiming "I'M A FREAKIN' DRAGON!" He noticed someone from work looking at him with one eyebrow raised, and stopped his childish practises.

"Everyone 'ere is so borin'…" Ishida mumbled, pulling a pinkish-red scarf out of his bag and wrapping it around his neck, just going over his chin. He pulled the scarf up and rubbed at his ice cold lips with it.  
"ah…" Ishida was right… People were boring, but that was expected when it came to workplaces. He was expected to act like a mature adult.  
"but screw that, y'know?"

Ishida, at the moment, had a rather off-putting habit of speaking things he thought out loud, often without realising.  
This had happened once when he was talking to some guy he had a crush on, and started talking about his 'hotness levels' out loud, causing the poor man to become extremely weirded out and flustered.

"I really chased him off, huh?" Ishida mumbled, walking down the road with his hands shoved into his pockets.  
After a while he heard some footsteps behind him. "YO!" A voice yelled. Ishida groaned… Anything but him. "Kiyondooooooo~" the Orange-red haired boy yelled, running up next to Ishida, who at this point was slightly annoyed. "Leon-kun… Please go away, m'just walkin' home." He mumbled, removing one hand from his pocket to rub the back of his neck awkwardly, sighing heavily. 

Leon Kuwata was a boy who worked in the same department as Ishida. He was very popular with the girls, but seemed overly interested in Ishida all the same. He was unnecessarily flirty, clumsy, loud, and above all, annoying. This wasn't to say he wasn't a good person… He was just extremely irritating when it came to this kind of thing. Ishida often found himself thinking that his brother that wasn't Ishimaru, Kiyo, would be suited to Leon… But then often shook his head, exclaiming to himself "He'd be dead within a week!" And not really knowing if he was talking about Leon or Kiyo.

"Awwwww, c'mon!" Leon groaned, smirking and trying to keep up with Ishida's fast walking speed. "You're really cute wait up!" He yelled as Ishida seemed to try and walk faster. When the boy finally caught up, he exclaimed "WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR HAND?!" he grabbed the poor albino's hand "ITS ME!" He gasped, as if genuinely shocked, before chuckling deviously.

Ishida found himself growling slightly. "Leave me alone, please." He tried to stay polite, but it was becoming hard… All this and more happened every single day, and it was getting really annoying.

"Your body is 75% water and I'm thirsty" Leon hummed, chuckling still.  
Ishida raised an eyebrow at Leon… Oh no… He was starting the cheesy pick up line thing… This also happened everyday.

"Your eyes are blue like an ocean, and baby, I'm lost at sea~" Leon put his hand to his chest as he said this, as if holding onto his heart.

Ishida growled "I'm startin' to think yer gettin' lazy with these things, first things first, my eyes are friggin' red… Second… That was really awful, man…"  
Leon thought for a second, before looking at Ishida's cold lips. "Your lips look lonely, would they like to meet mine?" Ishida growled louder… This would never end.

In fact, he once found Leon hanging around outside his window in the middle of the night, whispering pickup lines disdainfully under his breath. It was beyond creepy to be totally honest.

Ishida's eye flames flickered and spat as he turned his attention to the other side of the road, trying to ignore Leon, who seemed annoyed at this.

On the path on the other side of the road there was a girl with lilac hair walking, being followed by two people who appeared to be attempting to flirt. The girl in question looked extremely uncomfortable, although trying not to show it, a grimace plastered on her face as she sighed and strutted forwards as fast as her legs would take her.

Ishida sighed heavily, and continued walking, still glancing at the girl and her two followers. He felt kind of bad, but it wasn't like he didn't have his own problem right next to him.

Leon was becoming restless, running to catch up to Ishida whenever his lagged behind, spouting more pickup lines.  
The punk-ish boy eventually resorted to wrapping his arms around Ishida from behind, giggling like an idiot. "Nice ass." He commented, not letting go of Ishida, causing him to be immobile.  
Ishida appeared to snarl, and pushed Leon away from him, growling. "Quit it!" He snapped, turning his attention to the girl again.

She was pretty, extremely so, with long lilac hair with a braid and a ribbon on one side. She was wearing a dark purple jacket, a pristine white shirt with a long collar, a purple skirt, boots and studded black gloves. She must have been extremely cold, considering:  
1\. She was wearing a skirt, with no tights underneath no less.  
and wasn't strangely resistant to the cold like Ishida… Or at least that seemed to be the safe thing to presume anyway…

The radiator with legs kept walking, staring at the girl with his piercing red eyes. He was beginning to overhear some of the conversing from the other side, meaning the people flirting with her must have been very loud.

"C'mon, why don't ya loosen up a little?" One of the two men said, leaning his arm on the girls shoulder, before she pushed it off with a disgusted expression. When she touched his arm to push the guy away, he gasped and exclaimed "I'VE JUST BEEN TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL!"

The girl here, of course, was Kyouko Kirigiri. She was a higher up in the detective agency, so didn't know many people of lower status in the company, more often than not drowning in casework and files. She didn't get much time to go and socialise, and besides, it wasn't really her thing. She had a few friends, but most of the people she knew were also higher ups, so were more interested in parties and promotions…

"You're like a car accident, I just can't look away!" The other person said, chuckling, wrapping an arm around Kirigiri's shoulder, and not letting go. Kirigiri turned around… She was going to have to say this or it would never end. "I have a boyfriend."  
Truth be told, she didn't have a boyfriend, but sometimes lies were necessary in this case.

One of the people raised an eyebrow. "And I have a pet goldfish? Now what do those things have in common?" The other guy chuckled "they both don't matter!"

This caused Ishida to grimace… Not only was that a terrible thing to say, but that was also insulting to goldfish. Goldfish never did anything to anyone they didn't deserve this.

He sighed as he looked over. Leon was still being generally clingy, and Ishida didn't really appreciate this, especially not when The boy wrapped his arms around his neck to try and climb onto Ishida's back and almost strangled him. "H-hey eff off!" He yelled at Leon, who pouted, annoyed, and didn't let go of Ishida at all, in fact, seeming to tighten his grip on the poor guy.

Ishida turned to Leon as he opened his mouth to say another pickup line. "I 'ave a girlfriend, y'know!" He scowled, trying to seem intimidating and pushing Leon off him.  
Leon laughed "and who is that?" He didn't seem convinced at all. Ishida looked around frantically… What should he do?! He didn't know anyone that would be ok with him saying he was their boyfriend, and he had now gotten rid of any chances of choosing a guy friend who wouldn't mind, by saying he had a "girlfriend" specifically…  
Leon smirked "Aw, c'mon, ya don't have one, do you?" He looked at Ishida with sparkling eyes, and the red eyed boy knew immediately that he was preparing more pickup lines in his mind…

Ishida heard the people over the road flirting again and froze, turning his head slowly. "Come on, you don't have to tell him~" one guy chuckled, wrapping his arms around Kirigiri's waist.

That was it, Ishida was going over there.

He ignored Leon, and ran over the road, an angry expression on his face. "HEY, ASSHOLES, GET OUTTA 'ERE!" He yelled, growling at the two guys, and walking in front of Kirigiri, pushing the one that was getting clingy off her, scowling at them with his eye flames spitting bitterly.

The two laughed and stepped back a little "what do you care?" They stared at Ishida in more curiosity than fear, but that expression quickly changed when Ishida looked them straight in the eyes, speaking the words: "Cause I'm her boyfriend." He felt his cheeks heat up as he said this…. What was he getting himself into?!  
Well… It was only a lie, it wasn't like he would have to prove anything more…

Kirigiri looked at Ishida, confused, and possibly a little thankful that he was trying to get rid of those idiots. "Y-yes! He's my boyfriend, now go away, I'm very busy!" She said, staring at the most grabby of the two people.  
Ishida felt as though his heart sunk in his chest as he heard Leon gasp from across the road. As long as this was convincing enough him and this girl would be saved… He heard Leon grumble, and walk forwards again, his footsteps loud on the gravely pavement.  
At least that was… Sort of taken care of…

Ishida looked at Kirigiri with his menacing red eyes, who appeared slightly concerned, causing the boy to soften his gaze a little, then looking back to the followers, walking scarily close to them, showing his spiky teeth and snarling. "Now I said ya should prolly get outta here, pervs!" He glared straight into each persons eyes. One of them looked scared all of a sudden, seeing the murderous look in Ishida's eyes, and backed away a little. "Ugh…." He groaned, trying not to seem nervous, and began to walk off. The other person looked confused for a second, and just looked at Ishida, not moving. Ishida raised one eyebrow "ya want broken shins?" The guy shook his head "M-man, that's going too far… W-we were only joking!" He said, looking slightly nervous as Ishida reached into his pocket, pulling out a shiny looking pocket knife.

Ishida smiled sweetly, but kept looking the person in the eyes. "Then get outta 'ere, right now!"

The guy turned and walked off, glancing behind him at Ishida, looking terrified, and walking away faster… He most certainly didn't want broken shins… And he also didn't want to be stabbed… That guy was a freaking psycho!

When they had both walked off, Ishida turned to Kirigiri, and smiled at her.  
"Sorry 'bout that…"  
Kirigiri crossed her arms "I could have handled it on my own." She said in an emotionless tone, seeming almost irritated.  
Ishida growled softly "I needed ta get away from someone too, I-it weren't jus' fer you!" He looked away, blushing slightly.  
Leon was gone now, and so were the other two,  
but he somehow felt like keeping up the act…

Kirigiri sighed "Alright, I must be on my way now…" She looked up at Ishida. "And put that pocket knife away, you'll get in trouble." She spoke calmly, and smiled slightly as she walked away.

Ishida put his hand to his head.  
Who was that?! And why was she so…. Infuriating?! He wasn't sure… But figured he probably wouldn't see that girl again…

He looked down at the pavement, turning to walk away… On the ground was a security pass.

"Kyouko Kirigiri, special investigations." Underneath was the detective agency's name.  
Ishida's eyes widened "Oh no…" She worked in the same building?! This meant….  
He would have to keep up the act…. He could only hope that he wouldn't get promoted to a higher up…


End file.
